Recently, I have had an already challenging situation, moving, with a challenging person constantly challenging my situation, my patience, my being Christ like. It’s really hard to to keep my mind from wanting to tear into this person and just being done with them. But this person claims to be a Christian. You can’t tell this person anything, know everything. Always right and has to explain everything to you. I struggle with am I being judgemental or discerning? There is just something not right. Actions, words, things aren’t lining up making me question the validity of this claim. It makes me feel horrible and question myself. Do my actions line up with my words? Am I doing anything to cause this person to behave this way? What did I do wrong? I’m constantly asking for forgiveness. I find my mind going off in angry tangents wasting mental and emotional energy. Sounds like a tactic of the enemy. But, when I catch myself doing that, I am quickly reminded where I need to focus my energy; moving, packing, rejoicing.
God reminded me of Philippians 3:14 – “I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” This verse is talking about running the race and reaching the prize of a heavenly calling, the crown of righteousness. Like an athlete running a race, pressing forward to the finish line. 2 Timothy 4:8 – “And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing.” That is my ultimate goal, the ultimate prize. And my angry thoughts are distracting me not only from packing and looking forward to our new place, but they are distracting me from running the race, I’m losing my joy, and most importantly distracting me from reaching the crown of righteousness.
God also reminded me of Nehemiah, a man of prayer and who was instructed by God to rebuild the wall in Jerusalem. Nehemiah answered the call from God to restore the wall. and naturally was confronted with opposition, fear, and temptation from his enemies. Nehemiah’s enemies sent him a message asking him to meet them at one of the villages. He realized his enemies were plotting harm (Nehemiah 6:2), so he sent a reply “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you?” Nehemiah 6:3.
So I began to think, why can’t this be applied to anything God gives me to do? God has provided a much suitable place for us to live. I have packing to do and a new home to set up, I can’t come down, I can’t waste my time on renting the space in my head to this person. Sometimes that’s easier said than done, I am human but I do catch myself and have to put myself back on track, refocus and press forward once again.
This is a challenge not giving in to angry thoughts. I just want justice. As the line Jonathan Roumie says as Jesus said in the Season 2 Episode one of The Chosen, (Thunder) – “Strong passion can be a good thing when channeled for righteousness.” If this person truly loves God, then God will have to deal with this person. For now, I have to focus on the prize. Anchor in Hope.
The Kedge Anchor 
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