Last week, we followed a lump of clay through the hands of a potter.
We watched as the clay was pounded and kneaded, shaped and formed on the wheel, placed on the shelf to dry, and eventually fired in the kiln.
When the potter took the finished piece from the kiln, it was ready for its intended purpose.
But the potter wasn’t finished creating.
He decided he wanted another pot.
This one would be bigger and taller, able to accommodate the flowers bursting from his garden. He wanted it to complement the first pot while adding more contrast to the room with a different shape and color.
The potter began working on the second pot.
He pounded and kneaded the clay, removing the air pockets. Then he placed it on the wheel and began to shape it.
His hands worked the clay, adding pressure and water as he formed it. He opened the center, pulled the clay upward, carefully formed the walls, shaped the lip and smoothed the edges.
When he was satisfied with the shape, he lifted the pot from the wheel and placed it on the shelf waiting for it to dry.
Days passed.
When the pot was completely dry, the potter placed it in the kiln for firing.
After the firing was complete, he waited for the kiln to cool before carefully removing the pot.
It was beautiful.
It was exactly what he had envisioned.
He filled it with flowers from his garden and placed it in the room beside the first pot.
But one day, the second pot was accidentally fell over.
It fell hard.
And it broke.
The potter gathered the pieces.
He carefully examined what was left and began putting the pieces back together. Some pieces fit perfectly. Others required more work, a little sanding here and there to smooth some rough edges. He arranged the pieces so that a hole was right in the center.
The cracks from where the pot had broken created beautiful lines. The potter painted those cracks with gold paint and added some leaves, creating a vine that wound its way around the pot. The broken pieces had become part of its beauty.
When he was finished, the pot wasn’t exactly the same as it had been before.
There were places where the broken pieces had changed its appearance. But the potter didn’t see it as ruined.
The candle’s light shone through the places where the pot had been broken and repaired.
The pot had a new purpose.
And perhaps that’s something worth remembering.
Stay tuned for Part 3. There’s more to this story.
As humans, we tend to get our feelings hurt. Sometimes we get offended. What’s the difference? Hurt is something we feel when when someone does something bad to us, i.e. talk smack or gossip harms us physically etc. Being offended is something we choose. For example, someone’s opinion, being offended is more of a reaction, that’s something we can control.
So often I hear of believers leaving churches and falling away from the faith because they have been hurt. I can totally understand. There have been times I have been hurt by churches. It happens for whatever reason. Long story short, my husband and I were snubbed by the lead pastor on on wedding day. He didn’t officiate weddings and the reason was because that would have been his weekend job, i get it. So we had the singles pastor (who was married, he was a great guy and I’m sure still is) perform the ceremony (side note he had been fired just before our wedding for ridiculous reasons $$$). Anyway there was also a mix up with the room we rented but it the pastor doing the ceremony straightened that out. Despite all that the day turned out great and been married 30 years : ) .
That wasn’t the only time, there have been other times in the past before that that churches got a little petty about things. I’m not going to go into detail, trust me it happens in churches and in other organizations. We are human. But I also want to be sensitive to the fact that there is some serious hurtful things that go on in some churches. Some things that hurtful physically and emotionally and should be dealt with.
Many people leave the church, not just the organization itself, they leave the faith. It’s really sad when they leave because they were offended. Even if you were harmed in some way doesn’t mean you leave the faith, your faith in God.
Look at it this way, you go to a restaurant and receive bad service. What do you do? You most likely don’t leave a tip and don’t go back. Done, easy. That doesn’t stop you from going to other restaurants or stop eating all together. You find other places to eat. The same with our faith and the church. My husband and I never went back to the church where got married but that didn’t change our faith in God. We eventually found another church. Hebrews 10:25 “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” (NLT)
We could have gone to the lead pastor at the church where we were married and told him how his behavior made us feel. But they fired the pastor who married us for ridiculous reasons and felt leaving, forgiving and moving on was best. Wait, what, forgive? Yes. Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came to him and asked, ‘Sir, how often should I forgive a brother who sins against me? Seven times?’ ” ” ‘No!’ ” Jesus replied, “ ‘seventy times seven’ !”
Though we never went back, we forgave in our hearts. (It may sound like we haven’t in this post but we never disparaged the church, we think about it sometimes, wonder where they are and yes even prayed for them. One day we all will account for it all.
So this post is to encourage those who have left their church or their faith because of something the church did or said or because of something someone in the church did or said. You have two choices; one, confront the person or person(s) or two, find another church. It’s so easy to do these days with social media. But even with social media, finding a church is like looking at a menu online, if you think you may like a church go and check it out in person, just try it. If the first one you try isn’t the one, keep searching. Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Look for a church that is preaches God’s word, preaches the truth of God’s word. Many churches post this on their websites. It maybe under the “About’ tab or “Our Beliefs.” Ask friends or co-workers for recommendations, like you would for a restaurant and go.
If this has happened to you, share your experience in the comments. What was your journey finding the new church? What drew you or made you feel at home?
If you have been following this series, welcome back and thank you. In this season of grieving I am trying to understand how as a Christian I can be sad and joyful and I have also began to understand that there is purpose in our pain. In the previous two posts (Part 1, Part 2)I shared how I am processing mixed emotions in grief. How can I possible be sad and experience joy. I also shared what I am doing to stay close to God and some creative practices to help process, like writing this blog.
In the last post I left off with Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. He took the weight of the world, the weight of ALL our sins, past present and future. I believe that Jesus felt every kind of physical and emotional pain a human can feel that day. Jesus understands suffering, pain, persecution, temptations, He experienced it all, everything and everything His creation could feel.
This scene in The Chosen Season 3 episode 2, “Two By Two” Little James approaches Jesus and asks why he hasn’t been healed. Please watch this scene. The writers give a plausible explanation for why Jesus didn’t heal Little James and that explanation could be applied to us. It makes sense. Are we willing to still follow Jesus despite our infirmities?
So I thought some more about Jesus crucified on the cross. He could have healed Himself at any time. He could have come down from that cross like nothing happened, completely whole, healed. But He didn’t. His pain on the cross had a purpose. That purpose was to complete the plan of salvation. He had to endure the cross so that He could freely offer us salvation, eternal life. Our pain has purpose. God hears our prayers, He sees our pain but He has a plan and a purpose for us and sometimes that infirmity is part of it. God does heal, He heals everyone, we just may not see it this side of Heaven. We may not know what purpose our pain has here on earth. We certainly have a story to tell and that story could lead someone to Christ or give them Hope.
God loves us and wants nothing but the best for us, His children. He has a plan and a purpose for our lives and sometimes that means pain, physical or emotional. It’s hard to trust when we experience pain but when we do trust the result is beautiful. It helps for me to know that my story can help someone else; maybe that is A purpose.
John 16:33 – “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Grieving is hard, uncomfortable even more so when you’re not sure how to process. Any loss is a reason to grieve, a job, relocation, a home, a loved one, a break up can cause us to grieve. And many times we can experience mixed emotions. As one grieves the loss of a job one can also experience the anticipation and excitement of starting something new. Moving to a new home, we can grieve losing the one place we have, the only place know, but then there’s the excitement of a new beginning and new surroundings, meeting new people and making new friends. Loss is hard and losing someone you love is harder than anything.
My mom recently passed away. But this isn’t the first time I have experienced the vast array of mixed emotions, almost to the point I have felt psychotic. My dad passed away about 20 years ago (just a side note, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact my dad isn’t here) and I experienced the same mixed emotions and at that time, it was all new to me. I experienced the five stages of grieving, however, it was the sadness and the joy of knowing he was in Heaven that had me stumped. How can I possibly feel both? Like I said, this isn’t the first time I have experienced these mixed emotions, I am sure I had them, this was just the first time I identified them . It’s just that when losing someone, for me, these mixed emotions seem to be ever present and very clear and here I am again experiencing the same emotions trying to remember how I got through.
These emotions I found to be most in conflict when it came to socializing or doing something I enjoyed doing. I felt guilty for feeling like I could enjoy myself. How could I? I couldn’t share life or the fun I was having with my dad. I was getting stuck and it was hard to move forward. I came across part of poem in a journal I had and it summed up what I was feeling and I realized that I wasn’t the first to feel this way and it’s ok.
Two days after my sister called me to tell me that the doctor said she needed to go to the hospital, the sooner the better, I booked a flight home. By the time I got to mom, mom was kinda out of it. But her eyes did open wide when my sister told her I was there, and we got to be by her side for a few more days. One morning getting ready to go somewhere, I don’t remember where, I dumped out a small bag of jewelry that I brought with me. My small gold scalloped seashells and silver snowflakes tumbled out and right there was a perfect image of what I was feeling; seashells and snowflakes were about as opposite of the sadness and joy I was feeling. Two very different seasons rolled into one. It is a very uncomfortable place to be. It hurts. At times I feel a little crazy and not sure what to feel or how to feel it, or process it. Come to find out, it’s ok. As uncomfortable as it is, it’s ok.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says “… to everything there is A season…” I was experiencing two at once. Those mixed emotions are exhausting to me. The whole grieving process of raw emotion is exhausting. But this is how I cope and manage so that I can go on.
I feel the all the feels. Sad, happy, anger, and all the shades of emotions in between, I let myself feel. Cry if I have to, reach out if I have to, pray, sing, rejoice, reminisce, read scripture.
I thank God for giving me my mom and dad, the life they provided for me and my sister. I thank God for my mom leading us to Jesus, His plan of salvation and the promise of Heaven, because if it wasn’t for my mom, my family, I don’t know where I’d be today.
I think about the good times we all had together at holidays, my sister our aunts and uncles close friends, and all our cousins by the dozens.
I know that my mom and dad would want me, want us, to keep going. It’s ok that I take my time to mourn and grieve but I need to live life again, find my “normal”, it’s just going to be a little different, it’ll take some time and that’s ok too.
I recall the outpouring of love and sympathy from friends and family, their support and prayers. My husband has been a huge support to me and my sister. I don’t think he knows how much just being there helps. We have several church families that have supported us through an outpouring of prayer, texts, emails, flowers and cards. Those have been such and encouragement.
I imagine how Jesus must have felt resurrecting Lazarus. Jesus wept, John 11:35. Though the Bible doesn’t say specifically why He wept, Jesus performed a miracle for Larzarus’ sisters, by resurrecting him from the grave. Jesus may have been happy for Mary and Martha and for all three of them to be with each other again but sad that Lazarus would not just leave Heaven but die again. I don’t know. I do know Jesus felt grief, sadness, He felt it all. And I have more to share about how God felt when He sacrificed His only Son.
Please stay tuned, I will share more as I process. This is a lot and I hope my story can be someone’s hope.
If you have any questions or comments please comment below.
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