Tag: healing

encouragement, Uncategorized

Hurt vs. Offense: Understanding the Difference and Moving Forward

The Kedge Anchor

Photo by Ric Rodrigues on Pexels.com

As humans, we tend to get our feelings hurt. Sometimes we get offended. What’s the difference? Hurt is something we feel when when someone does something bad to us, i.e. talk smack or gossip harms us physically etc. Being offended is something we choose. For example, someone’s opinion, being offended is more of a reaction, that’s something we can control.

So often I hear of believers leaving churches and falling away from the faith because they have been hurt. I can totally understand. There have been times I have been hurt by churches. It happens for whatever reason. Long story short, my husband and I were snubbed by the lead pastor on on wedding day. He didn’t officiate weddings and the reason was because that would have been his weekend job, i get it. So we had the singles pastor (who was married, he was a great guy and I’m sure still is) perform the ceremony (side note he had been fired just before our wedding for ridiculous reasons $$$). Anyway there was also a mix up with the room we rented but it the pastor doing the ceremony straightened that out. Despite all that the day turned out great and been married 30 years : ) .

That wasn’t the only time, there have been other times in the past before that that churches got a little petty about things. I’m not going to go into detail, trust me it happens in churches and in other organizations. We are human. But I also want to be sensitive to the fact that there is some serious hurtful things that go on in some churches. Some things that hurtful physically and emotionally and should be dealt with.

Many people leave the church, not just the organization itself, they leave the faith. It’s really sad when they leave because they were offended. Even if you were harmed in some way doesn’t mean you leave the faith, your faith in God.

Look at it this way, you go to a restaurant and receive bad service. What do you do? You most likely don’t leave a tip and don’t go back. Done, easy. That doesn’t stop you from going to other restaurants or stop eating all together. You find other places to eat. The same with our faith and the church. My husband and I never went back to the church where got married but that didn’t change our faith in God. We eventually found another church. Hebrews 10:25 “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” (NLT)

We could have gone to the lead pastor at the church where we were married and told him how his behavior made us feel. But they fired the pastor who married us for ridiculous reasons and felt leaving, forgiving and moving on was best. Wait, what, forgive? Yes. Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came to him and asked, ‘Sir, how often should I forgive a brother who sins against me? Seven times?’ ” ” ‘No!’ ” Jesus replied, “ ‘seventy times seven’ !”

 Though we never went back, we forgave in our hearts. (It may sound like we haven’t in this post but we never disparaged the church, we think about it sometimes, wonder where they are and yes even prayed for them. One day we all will account for it all.

So this post is to encourage those who have left their church or their faith because of something the church did or said or because of something someone in the church did or said. You have two choices; one, confront the person or person(s) or two, find another church. It’s so easy to do these days with social media. But even with social media, finding a church is like looking at a menu online, if you think you may like a church go and check it out in person, just try it. If the first one you try isn’t the one, keep searching. Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Look for a church that is preaches God’s word, preaches the truth of God’s word. Many churches post this on their websites. It maybe under the “About’ tab or “Our Beliefs.” Ask friends or co-workers for recommendations, like you would for a restaurant and go.

If this has happened to you, share your experience in the comments. What was your journey finding the new church? What drew you or made you feel at home?

healing

Seashells and Snowflakes – Part 3

The Kedge Anchor

If you have been following this series, welcome back and thank you. In this season of grieving I am trying to understand how as a Christian I can be sad and joyful and I have also began to understand that there is purpose in our pain. In the previous two posts (Part 1, Part 2)I shared how I am processing mixed emotions in grief. How can I possible be sad and experience joy. I also shared what I am doing to stay close to God and some creative practices to help process, like writing this blog.

In the last post I left off with Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. He took the weight of the world, the weight of ALL our sins, past present and future. I believe that Jesus felt every kind of physical and emotional pain a human can feel that day. Jesus understands suffering, pain, persecution, temptations, He experienced it all, everything and everything His creation could feel.

This scene in The Chosen Season 3 episode 2, “Two By Two” Little James approaches Jesus and asks why he hasn’t been healed. Please watch this scene. The writers give a plausible explanation for why Jesus didn’t heal Little James and that explanation could be applied to us. It makes sense. Are we willing to still follow Jesus despite our infirmities?

So I thought some more about Jesus crucified on the cross. He could have healed Himself at any time. He could have come down from that cross like nothing happened, completely whole, healed. But He didn’t. His pain on the cross had a purpose. That purpose was to complete the plan of salvation. He had to endure the cross so that He could freely offer us salvation, eternal life. Our pain has purpose. God hears our prayers, He sees our pain but He has a plan and a purpose for us and sometimes that infirmity is part of it. God does heal, He heals everyone, we just may not see it this side of Heaven. We may not know what purpose our pain has here on earth. We certainly have a story to tell and that story could lead someone to Christ or give them Hope.

God loves us and wants nothing but the best for us, His children. He has a plan and a purpose for our lives and sometimes that means pain, physical or emotional. It’s hard to trust when we experience pain but when we do trust the result is beautiful. It helps for me to know that my story can help someone else; maybe that is A purpose.

John 16:33 – “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

ESV
healing, Uncategorized

Seashells and Snowflakes – Part 1

The Kedge Anchor

Grieving is hard, uncomfortable even more so when you’re not sure how to process. Any loss is a reason to grieve, a job, relocation, a home, a loved one, a break up can cause us to grieve. And many times we can experience mixed emotions. As one grieves the loss of a job one can also experience the anticipation and excitement of starting something new. Moving to a new home, we can grieve losing the one place we have, the only place know, but then there’s the excitement of a new beginning and new surroundings, meeting new people and making new friends. Loss is hard and losing someone you love is harder than anything.

My mom recently passed away. But this isn’t the first time I have experienced the vast array of mixed emotions, almost to the point I have felt psychotic. My dad passed away about 20 years ago (just a side note, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact my dad isn’t here) and I experienced the same mixed emotions and at that time, it was all new to me. I experienced the five stages of grieving, however, it was the sadness and the joy of knowing he was in Heaven that had me stumped. How can I possibly feel both? Like I said, this isn’t the first time I have experienced these mixed emotions, I am sure I had them, this was just the first time I identified them . It’s just that when losing someone, for me, these mixed emotions seem to be ever present and very clear and here I am again experiencing the same emotions trying to remember how I got through.

These emotions I found to be most in conflict when it came to socializing or doing something I enjoyed doing. I felt guilty for feeling like I could enjoy myself. How could I? I couldn’t share life or the fun I was having with my dad. I was getting stuck and it was hard to move forward. I came across part of poem in a journal I had and it summed up what I was feeling and I realized that I wasn’t the first to feel this way and it’s ok.

Two days after my sister called me to tell me that the doctor said she needed to go to the hospital, the sooner the better, I booked a flight home. By the time I got to mom, mom was kinda out of it. But her eyes did open wide when my sister told her I was there, and we got to be by her side for a few more days.
One morning getting ready to go somewhere, I don’t remember where, I dumped out a small bag of jewelry that I brought with me. My small gold scalloped seashells and silver snowflakes tumbled out and right there was a perfect image of what I was feeling; seashells and snowflakes were about as opposite of the sadness and joy I was feeling. Two very different seasons rolled into one. It is a very uncomfortable place to be. It hurts. At times I feel a little crazy and not sure what to feel or how to feel it, or process it. Come to find out, it’s ok. As uncomfortable as it is, it’s ok.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says “… to everything there is A season…” I was experiencing two at once. Those mixed emotions are exhausting to me. The whole grieving process of raw emotion is exhausting. But this is how I cope and manage so that I can go on.

I feel the all the feels. Sad, happy, anger, and all the shades of emotions in between, I let myself feel. Cry if I have to, reach out if I have to, pray, sing, rejoice, reminisce, read scripture.

I thank God for giving me my mom and dad, the life they provided for me and my sister. I thank God for my mom leading us to Jesus, His plan of salvation and the promise of Heaven, because if it wasn’t for my mom, my family, I don’t know where I’d be today.

I think about the good times we all had together at holidays, my sister our aunts and uncles close friends, and all our cousins by the dozens.

I know that my mom and dad would want me, want us, to keep going. It’s ok that I take my time to mourn and grieve but I need to move on and live life again, it’s just going to be a little different, take some time and that’s ok too.

I recall the outpouring of love and sympathy from friends and family, their support and prayers. My husband has been a huge support to me and my sister. I don’t think he knows how much just being there helps. We have several church families that have supported us through an outpouring of prayer, texts, emails, flowers and cards. Those have been such and encouragement.

I imagine how Jesus must have felt resurrecting Lazarus. Jesus wept, John 11:35. Though the Bible doesn’t say specifically why He wept, Jesus performed a miracle for Larzarus’ sisters, by resurrecting him from the grave. Jesus may have been happy for Mary and Martha and for all three of them to be with each other again but sad that Lazarus would not just leave Heaven but die again. I don’t know. And I have more to share about how God felt when He sacrificed His only Son.

Please stay tuned, I will share more as I process. This is a lot and I hope my story can be someone’s hope.

If you have any questions or comments please comment below.

Uncategorized

All Things Work Together, Even our Brokenness – Part 3

The Kedge Anchor
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Welcome back. In the last few weeks we saw how a broken pots could be restored and used again. Either by returning to its former function or by a transformation for a different purpose. Last week the pot broke to the point where it could not be repaired and used as it once was to hold water for flowers. One piece had broken into tiny pieces that could not be put back together.

But that didn’t stop the potter from restoring it. The potter left that peice out creating a hole that was big enough to allow light to shine through when a candle ws placed inside. This light also allowed the potter to clean out corners of the house that were cluttered.

A few days later, the potter decided to make another pot. This one would be shorter and wider to hold some tools. After completing the entire process of kneading, sculpting forming and firing, the potter decided he would use this pot to hold some of his tools and placed it on his work table. Until one day it was accidentally knocked over. This pot fell hard and from way up high. It was smashed into a million pieces unable to be put back together. But the potter was resourceful. He didn’t want to throw away the broken pieces, he like to restore and repurpose his work. So he took the fallen, crushed pieces and ground them down to a smooth, fine, silky sand.

He had an old wooden tray that he found in the corner he cleaned out. He took it out and filled it with the newly ground piece of pottery. He went out to his garden and picked  five smooth stones to place in the sand to make a rock garden. He picked up some twigs and smoothed them out to make a small rake. Now he had something to calm his mind on stressful days. 

All these three pots had a specific purpose. After they were broken one was restored and able to be used as it once was, to hold flowers. One was broken but once restored it had a different purpose to shine light, the last one even though the peices we shatered beyond repair it was transformed for an entirely different use, to calm and bring peace.

Can you relate to the brokenness of these pots? Do you identify with the brokenness? How has your brokenness transformed you. Were you once so broken you couldn’t function like you used to? God can work through your brokenness and restore you to full capacity and more beautiful. Sometimes He uses our brokenness to help others, to help shine His light through the holes in our lives so that others will know Him. Sometimes we think our brokenness is so far gone that we could never be used again for anything. But God can work ALL things together for good for those who love Him – Romans 8:28.

The brokenness hurts, the tranformation can hurt as God molds us and restores us. But we were created by Him, for Him to glorify Him and God can use anyone and anything to restore us so that we can shine His light in this lost world. Invite God into your brokenness allow Him to restore you. He is our HOPE!

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All Things Work Together, Even our Brokenness – Part 2

The Kedge Anchor
Photo by Ahmed Aqtai on Pexels.com

Where has your brokenness brought you? Are you seeking to heal? Maybe you are in the process of healing. Healing can look different for everyone. We all heal differently and at our own pace, there are no time limits. It takes time.

Last week we saw how the potter formed a pot to hold flowers. And as life goes, accidents happen. The pot fell and broke. But the potter still had plans for the broken pot. After putting it back together the cracks had formed an interesting pattern. The potter painted those cracks to create a beautiful design to compliment the pot’s structure and the pot was able to function again holding water for beautiful flowers.

The potter decided that he wanted another pot. And so he started the process over again. Pounding and kneading the clay to get all the air out. His plan for this pot was to be bigger and taller to accommodate the flowers bursting from his garden and to compliment the first pot and add more contrast to the room. And so he began to form the clay on the potter’s wheel, adding pressure and water to cool the surface.

After the pot was completed, the potter added some water and fresh flowers and placed it on  a window sill. One day, the pot accidentally fell onto the floor. Broken into pieces the potter bent down to gently pick up the pieces. There was one piece that broke into tiny pieces he could just not put together. But he continued anyway. That one piece left a hole right in the middle of the pot. The edges were asymmetrical and rough so the potter got some sand paper and smoothed out the edges and made the hole a little more symmetrical.

The potter had some candles that had been burnt down, making them the perfect fit for inside the pot. He placed the candle on a shelf in a dark corner of the room, illuminating the the house. Things seemed brighter and he realized how often he has stumbled in that corner of the room. But now he could see clearly and he saw the clutter in that part of the room that made him stumble so he cleared it out. The room is more beatiful now with the light from the candle, the decorated pots and now the clutter is gone.

Can you relate to these pots? Has your life been broken into pieces? Do you need light shed on the dark corners of your heart where you stumble and sin? Do you need restoration? Do you need healing and restoration? Stay tuned for next week, there’s more to this story.

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All Things Work Together, Even Our Brokenness – Part 1

The Kedge Anchor
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

When God created us He had a purpose in mind. Like like an artist has a plan for a piece of art. An artist is usually inspired by something to create a piece of art and has a plan and a purpose. Sometimes that purpose is to just add beauty, or it may be more functional to hold flowers or utensils, or something from which to drink, maybe to carry light.

God uses the imagery of a potter sculpting a piece of pottery. “Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8 (NIV). God formed us in His image, “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, …” Genesis 1:26 (NIV). And He has a plan for our lives, “For I know the plans I have for you, …” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV).


When the potter takes a block of clay, or a lump of clay it has no aesthetic form. The clay out of the package is moist and pliable, it can be easily formed and molded into anything the potter wants.


But before the potter begins, the potter has a plan, a design and a purpose in mind for the pot. The clay is slapped down on the potter’s wheel and is pounded. It is kneaded like bread to get the air out. The potter does this for a few minutes and as he does this kneading process, the clay becomes warm and softer. The the clay is slapped down one more time on the wheel and as the wheel begins to turn the potter wraps his hands around the lump of clay and begins to give it form. The clay can get a little dry from the friction of the potter’s hands, so the potter wets his hands and adds water to the clay and continues to shape and form the pot.
Now comes the time to add more pressure, this time from the top to make an opening, hollowing out the inside. By adding pressure at certain points on the outside, the potter can create grooves and curves giving the pot some interest and design. The potter is almost done. The lip of the pot is formed and smoothed out, he gives the it one final spin on the wheel, checking it, looking it over. The wheel stops and he takes a piece of string, slides it under the newly formed pot and lifts it off the wheel.

Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; …”

Isaiah 64:8


He takes it to a shelf with other pieces to dry for a few weeks. That clay, that lump of clay has been through a lot, pounding, kneading, spinning, pressure from all sides, from the top, emptied out, now resting on shelf, in the stillness, nothing happening, no movement, other pieces come and go, it’s still there just resting until the potter is ready to bake it.


The days pass and the potter takes the pot off the shelf. It is dry now. It is ready. It is ready to be baked in the kiln. The temperature in a kiln gets between 2124 – 2264 degrees Fahrenheit. The pot will bake for up to ten hours in the kiln. When the firing is complete and things have cooled down the potter takes the pot and gets it ready for its desired use.


The potter’s room is square like most rooms and as a matter of fact everything is square in the room, pictures, windows, furniture, books, bookcases, area rugs, tables, everything is square. The pot is round and will add contrast to the square room. (sometimes a contrast could be a compliment, opposites do attract). It will be obvious of it’s roundness. The pot will also have several uses. It will first hold fresh cut flowers. When the flowers fade the potter has another use, to hold paint brushes , pens, and pencils.


But one day the pot falls and breaks into several several pieces. Still, the potter loves this little pot and puts it back together. The cracks form an interesting pattern and the potter paints the cracks into a pretty motif. He adds more fresh flowers and water. The pot is holding water again. The pot is more beautiful with it’s pretty painted motif. It’s adding more beauty to the room, standing out even more.

How much like that pot are we after we are broken and healed? How have you experienced brokenness? Have you healed? Are you the same? What has changed for you?

Pause and think about your brokenness, where has it brought it you? How have you healed? Maybe you haven’t healed, maybe you’re in the process. There is hope and there’s more to this story, like there’s more to our brokenness. Stay tuned for next week.